When Love & Hate Collide


So last week, Ross and Ross debated the pros and cons of being a movie blogger. Admittedly, reading this post gave me quite a grin as I could probably write two whole week’s worth of posts on the subject – one on what gets my goat, another week on what I dig. However, I’ll spare you fine folks and keep it to a few paragraphs. take a look after the jump, won’t you?

To paraphrase the old saying, let’s start with the bad news. I think what bugs me most about being a movie blogger is the way it seems like so few of my friends and family are actually reading my work. I can’t completely blame them – lord knows they aren’t all movie geeks. many of them are supportive, even if they don’t completely “get it”. I guess I just wish that they did. many of them do – and you know who you are – part of me wonders though if I would have to twist some of the others’ arms quite so much if my movie babblings were being printed in The Toronto Star.

Also, as I mentioned a few weeks ago, there are times where it feels like I’m watching to write…and not the other way around. While it does make me examine films more critically, it can definitely take the fun out of it all. Last week for instance, I watched DOUBLE INDEMNITY for the first time and was knocked out by it. I have to wonder though if I might have fallen just that little bit more for it if I wasn’t feverishly trying to scribble notes as I was watching.

I realize, as my friend Monika from Cinematical pointed out to me, that because I’m not getting paid to do this I can just “stop anytime”. But that’s the thing – because I’m not getting paid to do this, but still have an inherent drive to get taken seriously, there’s no turning back. Something in the back of my brain feels like it has something to prove, and thus I try that much harder at something that started out as a lark.

Now it isn’t all flat soda and stale popcorn…

Writing this blog has actually started leading to opportunities. I’m on my second festival where I’m covering it as accredited media. I know I’ve talked about that a lot over the last three months, but I’m not stopping yet. For me it’s a badge of honour. I’m doing something I’ve always wanted to do, and people who know about such things are saying that I’m good enough to do it. Essentially, they are taking something I actually would have paid to do (go to a movie), and letting me do it for free!

Another thing that I love about this, is the way it adds another dimension to who I am as a person. Heady, huh? There are many who might see me as a middling desk drone. A company man with little power and little responsibility. But because I have more than that on my plate, it doesn’t define me. It’s what I do – it’s not who I am. I’m a photographer. I’m a writer. I’m a cook. I’m not a 9-to-5 tie wearing schmoe. I’ll prove it – strike up a conversation with me sometime, and I promise I’ll never bore you with stories about the office.

Finally, as I illustrated in my latest podcast, what I’ve loved most about being a movie blogger is the people I’ve met doing it. The locals in the Toronto film scene that I love sharing a drink with once a month. The people online who both agree with my opinion and call me an uninformed twerp. And likewise the directors who I got to talk with at Hot Docs last month – professional filmmakers who were gracious with their time and amazingly encouraging to what it is I do.

It’s strange: If someone cut my internet line tomorrow, I wouldn’t entirely miss sitting in the blue glow and hashing these posts out every day. Lord knows I wouldn’t stop going to movies. However, it’s become such a big part of who I am and what I do, that I’d feel like something was missing.

Weird eh?

17 Replies to “When Love & Hate Collide

  1. Not that weird, I fully get what you are saying and agree with it!

    I have a lot of readers who simply go in, read, and get out. They dont all comment. But I do love getting comments and talking movies with bloggers who KNOW movies!

    Keep up the hard work!

  2. This whole blogging lark is quite challenging -and for a long time, I purposefully veered away from it. Like I said in my email, the big challenge is debating what is more important – watching the films or writing about the films … both take time, both are why i am a film blogger… but when push comes to shove, which one do you choose when you have time spare?

    Simon
    http://www.screeninsight.com

  3. I get what you're saying. Perhaps the reason why my writing is the way it is, is (god that's a lot of is's) because I don't take notes. I just sit down and let the movie tell me its story. And when something stands out, for good or bad, I make a mental note to discuss it. I prefer to allow most of my thoughts/feelings for a film to come upon reflection. Hence why I may see something Saturday/Sunday, but not write about it until Thursday, or even the following Saturday/Sunday.

  4. I READ!!! I READ!!! I READ!!!

    Maybe not everyday or right away but I do read and really do appreciate your insights πŸ™‚

  5. You are preaching to the converted on this subject, Hatter! I like these not-just-about-movies posts of yours; write them more often for your adoring public, won't you? πŸ™‚

    I hear your frustrations loud and clear. If I had to make my own list, I'd have to say the challenges are money (hey, I do reviews for free, so no one reimburses me for crap movies!), balancing work and movie time and writing time and, of course, fighting with my movie nerd on the nights I'd rather watch TV than a movie, or the days I feel I have nothing interesting to say.

    But the bonuses? Hell, I couldn't even begin to count all of them, and I'm not just talking about LAMMY noms! Blogging has connected me to this whole world — granted, a world of really cool people who live too far away for me to hang out with — of people who share my interests, who love movies as crazily as I do and who have big opinions about what makes them good, bad and mediocre.

    And would it be too "Kumbaya" to say that blogging just makes me happy? So be it. I never said I wasn't a marshmallow.

  6. I didn't know you were accredited media. That's very impressive.

    I can relate to the feeling of watching a movie as somewhat of a chore. It doesn't happen very often, but there are times when the act of movie watching doesn't bring the same thrill because I know I have to write about it.

    The one thing I don't do is take notes while watching a film. Never have and never will. Like that lovely neo-con Stephen Colbert, I go from the gut.

  7. I think most movie blogger feel somewhat the same way. Not being read by your own family and friends as much as you would like, and getting that inferiority complex relative to more popular media or websites.

    To be honest, I'm also getting the feeling of watching-to-write currently. Having to constantly pump out new material is actually a bit stressful lol and I feel my writing and ideas for new posts has taken a hit from that.

    The best thing is definitely the community of like-minded people who share the same love for movies. Like you said, it's not something you can "stop at anytime" once you have joined this wonderful community of movie bloggers we have right now.

  8. good post Hatter, thanks for the linkage.
    the festival route you have going is great
    and your friends with Monika Bartyzel? shes great!

  9. I think the fact that my close family and friends rarely read my blog helps to keep things in perspective for me. It is a constant reminder that I blog for my own benefit, and not for what I think others might like. The fact that blogging has opened up a whole new film community for me to converse with is an added bonus.

    I think Simon raised a good point in his comment about the what is more important watching or writing? The way I see it, watching is always the most important aspect. It is the catalyst that inspires you to write and not the other way around. The blogging community will always be there regardless of whether you are posting that day or not. Yet some of those great film going experiences you have in your life can never be replaced.

    Lastly, I use to take notes during screenings but found that it kept taking me out of what I was seeing on screen. Now I merely jot down a few notes in my book after the screening, or sometimes days later.

  10. I know how you feel. I've told a few family members and friends about my blog, but I have no idea if they've actually looked at it unless they've told me.

    As for blogging, I only started because I was bored. Nearly a year and over 250 posts later, here I am.

  11. @ TFC… Note to self, start commenting more on TFC's site. And ditto!

    @ Simon… "When push comes to shove"? Watching – always watching. Right now I've found a pretty good rhythm between watching and writing, but if I ever felt myself lagging, believe me the watching would take a backseat in a hurry!

    Two interesting things though…

    1: I actually don't write about every movie I see. There have been screenings attended or classics rented that just get soaked up and enjoyed.

    2: I actually waste a lot of "watchin" time watching dvd's I own for the umpteenth time. Last night for instance, I re-watched TERMINATOR: SALVATION. Now, might that time have been better served watching something I've never seen before…like KIDULTHOOD? Discuss.

    @ Univarn… Right now, there have only been two occasions when I've taken notes. The 1001 Series, and anything I'm writing about as media. My usual weekend reviews are done from memory.

    The note-taking does make it a tad tougher to soak it all in – though if I'm getting caught up in the flick, I find my book closes itself.

    And as much as I hate to admit it, I've done a lot of really good piece from notes that wouldn't have been half as good if I'd improvised.

    @ Danger… I know ya do – and I love ya for it. Heck, you even told your friends: double word score for you!

    @ Meredith… No, it wouldn't be too kumbaya at all. But thanks for pointing out the money thing, I totally forgot to mention that!! Remember that quite a few of the movies I've seen were on an opening night, which in Toronto is $13 a go.

    And I'm not even paying for server space…..yet.

    @ Edgar… Take a look at what I said to Univarn. I hate doing it, but I can't argue with results. Thanks! If there's a film festival near your hometown, throw in for acreditation. The worst they can do is say "no".

    @ Castor… Ask Lady Hatter about my mood on evenings where I have writer's block. I turn into a real wimp about it.

    @ Ross… She's been Stateside for the last little while, but she was great to pal around with during Hot Docs. Hopefully she comes back to town soon. I'll tell her you're a fan.

    @ CS… Funny – for me it's the opposite. I got tired of repeating my opinion of movies over and over to people I know and thought putting it all in one place might spark their interest.

    As it happens, they still just ask me what I thought.

    @ MovieNut… Boredom is as good a reason as any. And you started younger than I did. I can only imagine how good you'll be when you get to the age I was when I started.

  12. I too find it totally crazy how this hobby I started on a whim quickly turned into a "can't look back" situation. I also wish my folks read my stuff more, but honestly, just waking up each morning and seeing the comments and getting into great conversations with awesome people about my biggest passion in life is more than enough to keep me coming back each day. Also helps that I'm now starting to get invited to premieres and such, that my writing's improved by a long shot over the past year and that I'm that much closer to turning this into a full-time gig. It's definitely an experience and I'm right there with ya on a lot of your points. I never write during movies though, always feel like I'm gonna miss something. Crazy.

  13. "I actually waste a lot of "watchin" time watching dvd's I own for the umpteenth time. Last night for instance, I re-watched TERMINATOR: SALVATION. Now, might that time have been better served watching something I've never seen before…like KIDULTHOOD? Discuss."

    This is one thing I will never give up, and it makes me a worse critic for it. But I'm okay with that. I have a virtual stack of movies (classics) piled up on our DVRs (PVRs), yet I continue to not only spend valuable time rewatching things I've seen a number of times (like Out of Sight last night on AMC) or even junky fare that I feel compelled to watch (looking at you, Land of the Lost). C'est la vie.

    Pretty much agreed on everything from the post, though I've tried not to let the "need" to write about movies seen outweigh the "want" to do so. This has probably also hurt my blog, but it's probably helped my sanity. One day I'll get to it all…

  14. funnily enough, i haven't seen Terminator Salvation… though only recently watched terminator… for the first time.

    shocking.

    Simon

  15. @ Fletch: When they start paying me, I'll stop indulging my guilty pleasure. Nah, I follow reasonable ethical guidelines (I try to be objective and impartial, I try to give a film the benefit of the doubt), but watching and rewatching movies (even when there are more original films to be seen) is a guilty pleasure and one that I do because I love them. I love film in general, but I love those films particularly.

    And I think you're right – it's all about "want". And that is great. As disappointing as it is that this isn't a job, it means that we have more freedom in pursuing it.

  16. @ Aiden… Congrats on starting to get the invites. That's one of those signs that you've raised your game. Yeah, I wish my folks would read my stuff as well…but it's hard enough getting them to watch movies, let alone read about them.

    @ Movie Nut… Started blogging about "life in general" at 26, switched it to movies only at 29.

    @ Fletch… I'm in the same boat, so I guess we're both lesser critics for it.

    As for the need to write, it's in a higher gear this year because I quietly challenged myself to post every single day for one year. The only rule I try to keep in mind is that I can't do more than one trailer post a week. So while I have much of my rhythm figured out by now (photo on Saturday, review on Sunday, Podcast every other Monday, etc) there are weeks where Thursday arrives, and I find myself grasping for "fresh material".

    When the year ends I'll stop forcing things, but for now I'm determined.

    @ Simon… You hurt me quite deeply sometimes, did you know that?

    @ Darren… I rue the day that I'd have so much to watch that I won't be able to re-watch.

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