Ryan McNeil
Some of the most unnerving tales centre around parenthood. Perhaps because it’s so relatable – if we aren’t parents ourselves, we are certainly all children and can understand the stresses and fears that our parents must have felt as we grow up. So when a story comes along that uses the parent/child relationship as a springboard, it feels more plausible…and as such, more likely to be happening in the world we know.
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN is the story of Eva Khatchadourian (Tilda Swinton). When we first meet her, we see that she is world-wise: the sort of person that has run in Pamplona or thrown tomatoes in Bunol. She eventually meets Franklin, gets married and gives birth to a baby boy named Kevin.
Motherhood does not go well for Eva. She cannot seem to bond with Kevin who first makes too much noise, and then not enough. As he grows, her frustrations continue. Kevin seems to favour his relationship with his father, acts belligerent and defiant, and becomes prone to moments of violence. By the time Kevin reaches sixteen years of age, it’s clear that Eva cannot connect with him – try as she may.
Underscoring this entire tale of parental distress is the way the film flips from then to now. Details are sketchy, but early on we understand a few details about an event. We know that something truly violent has happened, we know that Kevin did it, and we know that the whole town hates Eva now because of it.
The two sides of the story see-saw through the film, leaving us sympathetic as Eva searches for answers, and even more so later as she struggles to cope.
When a young person does something hateful and violent, the natural reaction is to ask “where were the parents?”. What’s more is that the when the anger and frustration of those left behind continues to be aimed at the parents, it sentences them to an unjust fate. They did not commit the act, and might not have been able to do a thing to prevent it…but yet they must shoulder the blame. What’s worse, is that they are forced to shoulder the blame of a community on top of the blame they already inflict upon themselves.
What happens though, when we ask “where were the parents?”, and the answer is that they were there the whole time. The parents of maladjusted young people could know full-well that something isn’t right with their child, and just might not be able to reach them try as they may. What then? Are they supposed to turn their backs on their own blood? The fact that their children aren’t thriving is pressure enough on a parent: It plays upon the constant worry that they aren’t doing their job right and screwing up the child’s whole future. That’s the sad truth behind a story like WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN…sometimes a parent can try everything, and still not manage to reach their child.
To these ends, Tilda Swinton’s performance in the film is one for the books. She finds two very distinct modes for her character – one for “before”, one for “after”. “Before” she has to deal with the realities of postpartum depression off the hop, and then struggles to find her footing as a mother when every tactic she tries with her son leaves him defiant. Try as she might to cover it up, her weariness and exacerbation are clear, and without ever getting showy in her performance, we feel it to the core. “After” her sadness and stress finds a whole new level, and now there’s a constant fear that seems to be mixed in. It’s as if she has suddenly lost the nerve to look the world in the eye. Yet at the same time, he refuses to be beaten down…she keeps working, keeps living, and keeps dressing the wounds of her town’s hate.
This is a rare film – the sort that is violent and disturbing without overtly being violent and disturbing. It leaves us unsettled throughout, primarily by never specifically addressing what has happened. Not only does it continue to duck the key event, but as it does so it continues to drop clues that become impossible to ignore. It fills the screen with pure visual splendour; giving us moments and shots that are breathtaking in their elegance.
Strangely, these shots and moments only unnerve us that much further. It’s as if we’re walking through an art gallery and have happened upon a painting of a rotting corpse that is perfect in its technique. Within the film, we notice increasing splashes of red in the photography – red cans, red jackets, red candles. So much red keeps us off-kilter, reminding us of the violence looming above the story that we don’t yet know.
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN is sad and darkly poetic. It’s a ballad for a mother who never wants to give up, and a dark lament as to why she should. Tilda Swinton reaches out to us, and evokes sympathy we never knew we were capable of having. Her spirit has been ground into powder by the burden of being a mother, but she still isn’t ready to give up on that responsibility yet.
If you’ve seen WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN, or read about its plot elsewhere, you might have noticed that I’ve ducked the details about Kevin’s violent act. I knew about it going in, and it didn’t ruin the experience for me. However, I found myself so taken with the artful way in which it is first only alluded to – and ultimately revealed – that I wanted to omit it from my piece. I will say that of the half-dozen times I’ve seen this act portrayed on film in the last fifteen years or so…this is by far the most haunting.
This film knocked me out. I wasn’t really expecting anything other than what I had seen before from Lynne Ramsay. I got what I expected but I didn’t expect it to be that visceral in the approach to the narrative as well as not laying out why all of this happened. Ramsay’s approach to the direction was eerily entrancing and is not afraid to let things get very dark. There’s also a dark humor that is shocking but I was engaged by it. I’m pissed that the film didn’t receive any Oscar nods as I feel it is a true work of art.
This will come up in the next Matineecast where this film will be fully discussed, but I’m truly in awe of a story that i so violent that conveys it all without depicting a whole lot of violence.
And were you like me? Did you have the rug pulled out from under you with the final reveal?
I don’t think so. I kind of figured something happened even though I was a bit shocked. I was more surprise by the final meeting between Eva and Kevin considering all that had happened.
I understand I’m in the minority with KEVIN, but I truly didn’t care for it.
This :: “leaving us sympathetic as Eva searches for answers” … wasn’t true for me. I didn’t care for any of the characters. And the “artfulness” you speak of is present, but at the most bizarre and unnecessary moments.
By the end, the whole film felt like one big collage of avant garde filmmaking. frustrating (to a point of boredom) characters, and a narrative I could never quite get into.
And just for the record … the film felt … ill-intenioned.
Sorry to throw a parade of negativity at you Ryan. I’m glad you (amongst many other films critics) found something worth cherishing.
Well written, as per usual.
I’m gonna make you earn this:
Why wouldn’t you care for a woman who starts out not connecting with her son despite every effort she can muster, and who is forced to later carry the burden of still loving her son as every mother does, but being the scorn of an entire community?
The premise you just set up begs (and often deserves) sympathy.
I felt what was happening to her was bizarre and unrealistic. I believe in one scene a random lady comes out of nowhere and slaps her in the face. The situations weren’t believable. And her parenting skills weren’t too keen either.
If she supposedly makes “every effort to connect” with Kevin (which I agree she tries diligently) … how come – if she truly loved him – didn’t ask for proper medical help? Put him in an institution, run more tests, etc. He’s clearly a very mentally ill boy who needs assistance that can’t be treated by parents.
There’s some remorse to be had – but Swinton’s character was always was an enigma to me – thus making it next to impossible for me to sympathize for.
That’s why she gets my sympathy, because her situation deserves it.
I would agree with you that what Eva was enduring from the townspeople was surreal, if we didn’t live in surreal times. People have difficulty seeing beyond their own problems nowadays, and even more difficulty walking in someone else’s shoes. What Kevin does rocks people in that town to their very core – understandably since it is probably the worst thing a person can endure.
I could totally believe people in a small community like that holding on to a grudge for a very long time.
The reason why she never asked for help, got medical attention, etc, was because Kevin was only ever acting this way towards her. He was bonding just fine with his father, and doing well enough in school that no teacher ever raised an issue. It was, essentially, her word against his.
I don’t think Swinton’s character is as enigmaic as you say. She is carrying a lot of visible frustration, which we (if no other character in the film) can see very clearly…both before and after the incident.
What’s your take on the opening sequence of the film?
It’s pretty much just a mood-setter. Showing us that this is a woman who has been places and done things. She is world wise and takes joy in trying new things.
Films like these are always ripe for conflict as no two people will look at Tilda Swinton’s performance the same. Although older audience members seem ready to pounce more than younger moviegoers.
But that’s only natural.
The sensibilities of someone younger and older are clearly going to be different. Not sure that’s a point worth attacking though.
I find the opening scene to be increasingly contrived.
Why did you find it contrived?
I agree, but to walk out of the theatre when she is trying to force words out of Kevin is not my idea of a sensibility. It’s close-mindedness.
It’s easier to dislike the performance for some. Films like this one, Greenberg, Young Adult ask a little more from its audience. I think more should try to meet it halfway like you did.
This was a movie that really managed to get underneath your skin and stay with you. Great performance by Swinton…
Totally agreed. She finds a whole other gear in this film and is able to express a lot of complicated emotions without straying into cliche. I really hope more people get a chance to track this film down.
I think I’ll see this one day, but probably not until Isobel’s a little older. I’m not sure my new-dad brain could handle the plot.
There will never be a good time for you to see this. The spectre of parents questioning whether they are connecting with their kids is all over the film. Watch the trailer.
Good review. Haunting indeed. Was tough to look away, and impossible to forget! As you say, the build-up was very well done. Tilda Swinton is very good at playing a vulnerable mother, maybe that’s why she was picked, I’m glad I’m not in Eva’s shoes ( :
Is a great question the story poses, can children get away with anything, and still be loved, we have all been kids, and can relate.
Easily made my top 10 films of 2011, a scandal the film did not receive any oscar nominations.
I’m going to have to check out the Roger Ebert and Charlie Rose interviews
In the months that follow TIFF every year, I watch films that I skipped at that year’s festival and feel like I missed an early window. This was one of this year’s “oopsies”. (Along with TAKE SHELTER, A SEPARATION, and CAFE DE FLORE).
I think perhaps kids can get away with so much because it’s the nature of being a parent…you love your kid no matter what because there is that bond that is so specific and unique – more than the bond of marriage where you choose the person even.
If you’re interested in more discussion on the film, give a listen to the latest episode of The Matineecast (which went live today). Jessica from Velvet Cafe joined me and had a lot of interesting thoughts on the subject.
Thanks for reading!
Will give the Matineecast a listen, thanks for telling. Can understand why Lynne Ramsay’s film was picked for discussion topic, there is a fair amount to debate (or in my case review)
Nice! If you like what you hear, drop a comment. I’m a whore for feedback.
I cannot wait for this movie! I’ve been so annoyed that its play no where near my area. I loved the book, as a brand new parent it freaked me out, but Eva has got to be one of the most well written characters I’ve ever read. I can’t wait to see Tilda bring her to life.
Not sure where your area is, but I feel your pain – it didn’t open in Toronto until mid-February. Making matters worse, I heard a few people who caught it at TIFF waxing on about it – made me think I’d made a few bad selections.
I can only imagine how much the story would screw with the head of a new parent (Part of the reason why I warned my buddy Sean off it for a little while), so hopefully your therapy bills since finishing the book aren’t too outrageous.
Thanks for reading Brittani!
Hi again Ryan, in my review of “We Need To Talk About Kevin” I posted today, I included a few interesting points from your Matineecast(which I enjoyed listening to) Feel free to stop by!