Ryan McNeil
Seems like it’s somewhat of a week of self-reflection here at Dark of The Matinee. Might not be such a bad thing given the amount of film-specific posts that are coming over the next ten days. Still, trends amuse me and I thought I’d point this one out.
Friday night I’ll be going to see THE A-TEAM.
Alone.
Lady Hatter has decided to sit this one out, in many ways owing to apathy towards the film. She’s told me to have fun without her, knowing full well that I have no qualms going alone. It’s funny because much of our tastes overlap, but at least once a month a film like this will drop that one of us is hot for and the other could care less. What then?
Well first of all, one of us will rarely drag the other to something they don’t want to see. Long ago, we learned that such arm twisting means no fun for both of us. Thus, we’ll either find a friend to take instead of each other…or even go alone. Neither of us has a problem with seeing a movie by ourself, though admittedly, I tend to do it more than Lady Hatter.
It can be a sticky wicket for many couples. The “I want to see/but you want to see” conundrum…and it leaves me curious. How do you fine folks handle it? Be it at the theatre…on dvd…or even when and where you’ll see what you see…
How do you solve a differing in cinematic opinion, and not find yourself single by the time the credits roll??
I recently had this same kind of experience this past year. Since this was my first year as a movie critic for my school's paper, I was responsible to watch movies that people were anticipating. However since I'm a student, I procrastinate a lot haha. Sometimes I would only have the opportunity to watch a movie a day before my deadline and I would have to see it at the last showtime on a weekday. Since it's at an awkward time, most of my friends were busy or simply didn't want to go. So I would have to watch these movies by myself, which was definitely weird for me. However over time I got over the weirdness of the whole situation and simply enjoyed the experience.
Since I've been single most of my life, and usually only have a small group of friends, I'm rather used to going to the movies on my own. If there's a movie my mom really wants to see, that I do, I'll go with her, but most of the time I go it alone. So, sadly, I can't be of much help here.
I think both are alright. Do what you want to do together as much as you can, but yah gotta do some things apart as well. My parents just celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary, and I've learned that much from watching them.
For starters, it sure helps a lot when you have movie blog and need to write a review five days a week. Helps me to keep an open mind and to see stuff that I normally would have to bite the bullet on. I live with my girlfriend, I watch way more movies than she does, there have been many an argument over my taking over of the Netflix queue with movies she would never want to see, but like I said, it's a compromise and I don't really mind that the next two movies coming are Chicago and It's Complicated. My trick: ALWAYS pay for her movie ticket, only watch stuff she'd never want to when you're watching by yourself and even if you don't want to see Sex and the City 2, see it anyway, makes for a good review, broadens your audience and makes for a big hit count that day.
Also, you hear Mr. T panned the A-Team?
And Two of Us is one of the all-time great Beatles tunes.
Okay, I'll shut up now.
It's been the story of our five and a half year relationship – me and my fiancee are always having to compromise for films we watch at the cinema. The film she really wants to see, I don't and vice versa. The common ground films are the sorts that either don't make it into theaters or we'd rather wait for TV/DVD.
Neither of us have ever considered going it alone. At my local multiplex you need at least two of you to warn off the gangs of small children willing and eager to throw sweets at you.
Does she know that Bradley Cooper is in it? That might change her mind.
My boyfriend and I see almost everything together, but there are definitely places where our tastes split apart. Sometimes we compromise and he'll see something I really want to see but he isn't especially interested in (he's promised to come to The Sorcerer's Apprentice with me) or vice versa. I definitely don't mind going to movies by myself, but sometimes I find that I'll have less motivation to get out to a theater if no one else wants to see a particular film. (Though I did see Get Him to the Greek by myself haha)
This actually happened to us last night. We planned to see Splice, but after reading some reviews I decided it might be too icky for me (I'm incredibly squeamish) so I encouraged him to go by himself and I'd trek out to a farther-away theater to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which he has little interest in. (In the end we were both too lazy and just stayed home and played video games.) But he's seeing Beetle Queen Attacks Tokyo by himself tonight since I don't like bugs.
I'm pretty sure I can drag him to A-Team this weekend though!
I have to admit I have never been to the movie theater by myself so far. It's weird since even though you go with friends or relatives, you never get much time to talk or do anything else anyways but I have always been adverse to going by myself. I should really try it someday!
@ Dreher… Strangely empowering seeing something by yourself isn't it? I first started doing it, because I got tired of feeling like seeing a particular film on a particular night and having to retrofit it to my friends' whimsy.
@ Univarn… yeah, my folks are celebrating 35 years this year so I know what you mean about a good example. Then again, my folks don't go to movies much anymore…
@ Aiden… I think I've burnt the "But I need to blog about it!" card to cinders. I get latitude when it concerns a podcast or an acredited gig. Anything after that is pushing my luck (and there have been times where I've been a twerp and shrugged off flicks she wants to see).
I try to make up for it by not sequestering the dvd player unless I have something specific in mind. It's all about balance, right?
And thanks for guessing today's title…now what does Simon Columb have to look forward to?
@ Dan… Dodging sweets?? If I might make a request, can you write a post about this routine you have to endure.
@ Tom… It actually makes things worse. She says Cooper has "Douche face"
@ Alex… See, when it comes to seeing movies alone, I'm certainly more motivated than Lady Hatter is. Hell, I'll go a few subway stops out of my way to see something…she's more prone to see what's playing up the street even if it isn't her first choice.
As for seeing something that the other really isn't interested in, usually that comes up when one of us loses a bet (and right now I owe one!).
@ Castor… If you can do it mid-day on a weekday it's kinda cool. You end up getting most of the cinema to yourself. It's like a private screening!
I'm lucky, my missus usually will go along with whatever I want to see. Every once in a while when a Sex and the City comes along I have to cave but I figure whatever, at the least I get a review out of it. Luckily she really wants to see the A-Team. I have gone to the movies alone before and I don't see any problem with it, especially if you're going for review purposes and not social ones.
And there is nothing wrong with seeing movies by yourself. Called out sick from work the other week to go see Exit Through the Gift Shop and The Secret in Their Eyes by my lonesome. Back during finals weeks in college, I'd grab Taco Bell before going to the theater, start with a matinee and sneak into three or four movies in one fell swoop. Got that stuff down to a science, but it's still more fun watching with friends. Good times.
I'm with Univarn here. I would say that about 85% of the time I go to the movies, I go alone. Occasionally I go with my brother and his wife, or a group of friends when something like Avatar comes up. But mainly, who else is going to go watch a movie like "Hey, Hey It's Esther Blueburger" with me? Nobody. I've gotten pretty used to it.
I haven't had that problem with my girlfriend yet, but we're separated by 500 miles right now. Summer break is really kicking my ass right now.
Be strong, Fitz. Be strong.
@ Everyone… I mentioned that the scales get tipped when one of us loses a bet. My getting less Oscar picks right this year will cost me STEP UP 3-D.
@ Mike… Sounds like a pretty nifty arrangement. Then again, knowing some of Lady hatter's guilty pleasures, I'm much happier going alone if it means I can sidestep films like SATC and TWILIGHT.
@ Aiden… Can't say I've ever played hooky and gone to a flick, but that sure sounds like fun! And I think you plotted yourself the absolute best double-feature possible if those were the two films you saw back-to-back.
@ Red… Alright, I give…who's Esther Blueburger?
@ Fitz… Sorry to hear it man. Be strong, fall semester is just two and a half months away.
I vote you work out a virtual date where you go see the same movie on the same night, then come home and talk on the phone/net about what you thought of it!
Finally I see the perks of being divorced… no compromising, no discussing, no bet losing, I just get to see what I want! 🙂
I see most films in the theatre on my own, and I really enjoy it. I can change my mind at the last minute and see something else. I don't have to meet anyone / worry if they are late / worry if I am late. If it sucks, I can leave without the awkward "I wonder if they think it sucks too" moments.
Experiential films and comedies are more fun to go with someone, and of course if it's something you discuss after it's great to go together. Otherwise I find it completely bizarre the culture of feeling the need to go with someone. You sit in the dark for roughly 2 hrs, and then leave.
I felt very liberated the first time I went to a movie all by myself. Off to see "Mao's Last Dancer" this weekend!!
I've been saving up my Oscar pool win for awhile, waiting for something that will be particularly painful for Hatter to sit through (he banned Twilight BEFORE the bet), and I think Step Up 3D will be the perfect victory movie. Now one problem…due to my INTENSE hatred of 3D, I have to try to find a 2D screening of a film with 3D right in the title!
-LADY HATTER
@ Shannon… Yeah, what you said was pretty much the entire thought process that occurred to me the first time I decided to start going alone.
@ Lady hatter… I still feel bad that your movie ended up ending ten minutes before my movie and we didn't at least walk home together. Glad to hear you dug it though.
As for STEP UP: Thanks for nothin'…
Enjoy Step-Up 3D! I bet AMC Y&D will play it in 2D .. 🙂
I sovle the problem by just going to whatever the little woman wants to see. Most of the time it works out good, but she never wants to see the big movies tha tI say the only/best way to see them is int he theater.