Decade: Reflecting on Ten Years of Writing The Matinee

Ten years ago today, I hit “publish” on a few hundred words typed into a modest little Blogspot template. I was just trying something – just curious if anyone would be interested. I never thought that it would be the beginning of something I hold so dear.

In between then and now so damned much has changed in the world. Film criticism itself is in peril. So many writers who are so much better than I cannot get their work out and make a living wage doing it. Even if they can, the attention span of readers has shortened. When I started, a few thousand words on an intriguing topic could draw attention; now it all needs to happen in 140 characters.

Still, I found my footing and found my voice. I found a need to document the new and revisit the old. In doing so, I have come to a better understanding of who I am.

This little space has been about more than reviewing movies for me. It’s been my way to talk about so very much and disguise it as critique. The movies I’ve seen and pieces I’ve written have given me a chance to express my thoughts on society, technology, war, love, life, death, failure, success, and so very much more. Those were the things I really wanted to talk about all this time…film was just a handy catalyst, and a beautiful inspiration.

Thing is, inspirations were in short supply this last twelve months. Not because I stopped looking for the films – perish the thought.

No, inspirations were in short supply because I found myself less inspired. The words came with greater difficulty, or they didn’t come at all. Where once I would want to weigh-in on a topic, I stared at a closed laptop and wondered “what’s the point?”.

The beauty was still around me this past year, but the inspiration felt missing. Sometimes, I felt like I’d said it before. Sometimes, I felt like I didn’t have anything to say. It’s a strange feeling, and one I didn’t always know the way out of.

Turns out, the only way out was through. I allowed myself time to step away – allowed myself to figure out what my place in this crazy world was. Only from figuring those things out was I able to see how film fit into it all. I got a better understanding of what it means to me, and by extension what it means to the greater audience. I was able to do what I set out to do ten years ago: get a better understanding of why film matters so much to me.

For that – for ten whole years of that – I am thankful.

I’m thankful that it’s allowed me to say so much about so many topics.

I’m thankful that I still feel a desire to keep saying such things about other topics yet to be discovered.

And most importantly, I’m thankful to you. My family, my friends, my contemporaries, my heroes, new acquaintances, names from my past, people I’ve never even met, and everything in between.

For enabling and inspiring me to keep something like this going for ten whole years, I cannot thank you enough.