11 Replies to “On Positivity”

  1. I could have used this recording two weeks ago, when I had my brutal turn on the “day from hell” wheel. Frankly, I kind of wish more people (podcasters, bloggers, pretty much anyone who uses social media, etc) had moments of honesty like this. You raise a good point about people being too insular and taking pleasure in tearing down others. I know it is something that is happening worldwide, but it feels especially noticeable in the microcosm that is the film loving community. Regardless, all anyone can do in life is to ride each fleeting wave we are given to the best of our ability. So even if you do not notice it, take some solace in the fact that your overall nature does indeed have a positive impact on those around you (e.g. friends, readers/listeners online, woman at coffee shop, etc).

  2. I’m a rather outspoken individual and I have no qualm putting my two cents worth in to conversations, but lately? I’ve really been mulling over this myself. The power of a positive comment instead of being just another pile-on for snark is monumental. I don’t always comment as much here or there, but I try to put a little something extra out there in a positive fashion instead of simply resorting to sharing my woes and irritations.

    I read a study once that said that if you share or vent about a small irritation or problem, it actually magnifies your feelings about the concern and can make it seem larger than even when you were experiencing it. It also can harden people against taking you seriously when you have real concerns to talk about. I’d rather share my woes about serious matters than focus on commutes, or annoying customers or irritations.

    THAT SAID, there’s more than enough space for having serious discussions in a positive fashion, so as a whole, I want more people to take advantage of that instead.

  3. Positivity is overrated. 🙂
    All I ask that is you are going to complain/snark/bitch about stuff, just be artful and clever in your negativity and things generally work out fine. Self deprecation too me is far more cathartic than perpetual upbeatness, although both have their places.

  4. http://www.the-frame.com/2014/02/2014-the-year-of-positivity/

    I’ve stuck to this pretty well, at least in the film world (the gaming world has been a bit more…frustrating…), and it’s definitely been good for me. I think it can be easy and fun sometimes to focus on the negatives – I like a good snark as much as the next girl – but I think it’s ultimately unhealthy, both for ourselves and for those around us, and for the internet at large. The internet can be an outrage machine, and sometimes it’s deserved, but most of the time, especially in our circles, it’s not. I always appreciate your positivity, and as others have said, you do present a positive energy even if you don’t always feel like it.

    1. Hey Jandy…Just read your positivity piece and thought it was great – would love to hear your deeper thoughts about it at the end of the year. Though I “try” to mostly stick to talking/writing about what I love in film, I admit I get caught occasionally in the negative aspects (my October Horror watching was thin and not great this year, so those posts were a little on that side). As long as there is at least some constructive criticism or potential for conversation starting, it can still be OK, but I aspire to reach towards what you’re doing…

      1. Bob, it’s been helped tremendously by not going to the theatre much this year, and thus not reading much about big new releases. 🙂 But I do think part of it was just stepping back from reviewing in general, and allowing myself to trust my taste and just enjoy movies, because I generally do enjoy most everything I see on some level. I found I was forcing myself to be critical (in the negative way) to fit what I thought reviewers and critics were supposed to do, or at least guard against criticism myself, and project a sense of discernment the way I thought people would expect. Working through all that has helped a lot. I’m still not writing as much as I wanted to be, but I like the tone of what I have written much better.

  5. I just now finished finally re-synching podcasts to my phone after getting a new laptop months ago, so I’ve been out of the listening loop for awhile. This was the first thing I listened to…

    I’m with you on this of course. Remember last time I saw you? I had just come off a pretty frustrating and soul-sucking week, but that day was a good one – a success that had been blocked had finally punched itself through and I wanted to celebrate it in a small way. I had thought about spending a few minutes bitching about the trials and tribulations of the preceding days, but (especially since we had other stuff to discuss) I managed to just mention the positive piece…and I think that just really bolstered my mood even more.

    I hope your podcast did the same for you. And if not, you know where to find me…B-)

  6. For this topic, I strongly rely on the (admittedly) cheesiest of sayings and old cliches that seem to work wonders – “Tomorrow’s another day”, “Power of positive thinking” – The Secret, “Turn that frown upside down” – Strawberry Shortcake. :P~

    It’s inevitable to have a bad day once and a while and there are two ways to handle those moments:

    Option 1: tell yourself to shake it off, get some rest (if you can) and just sleep it off until the next morning when you feel better. Or, if you can’t rest at that moment, shake it off, tell yourself “From now on, the rest of my day will get better” – and surprisingly, it actually does (power of positive thinking).

    The second way to handle a bad day is exactly how you mentioned – Option 2: be cranky, tell everyone to piss off and, basically, be an asshole to everyone around you. Speaking for myself, this option actually makes me feel a lot worse. And if someone ever acts that way towards me, I refuse to let it affect me. Misery loves company, right? Well, that negative energy is far too infectious for me, thanks. I just chalk it up to having a shred of human compassion – “That dude must be having a shitty day…it’s not me, it’s them…I’m just gonna ignore him/her”.

    You have a lot in your life to feel positive about. You have an amazing family – that much, I know first-hand. 😉 Let yourself have a shitty day every once in a while (why do we feel guilty for not being positive all the time??!) Eventually, we do shake it off, we do find humour in life again, and we forget why we were even miserable in the first place.

    “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” – Kelly Clarkson

    P.S. – I’m not even the most positive person and I’m saying all of this. If this is ever repeated, however, be forewarned – I’ll deny everything. xo

  7. Thanks for listening and for the kind thoughts everybody. Suffice it to say that my mood took a turn for the better after I posted this, which was sort of an unexpected – and very sweet – byproduct of waving this particular flag.

    It’s a new week, so lets all try to start it with good energy.

  8. Great thoughts, Ryan. I like the idea of being positive and thinking of others more than ourselves. By nature, we’re selfish people at our core, and our first impulse is to please ourselves first, and others later. I know you, along with many others, do not share my faith, which is totally cool! But it is my faith in God that constantly reminds me that I am nothing, He is everything, and that I want to continue to live my life by selflessly serving Him and others. And your whole point about how people can be snarky, overly critical – I get that. Sometimes it’s just really hard to not be negative, to not react to people who can sometimes be really unkind. In today’s world of social media, it seems like people have only gotten crueler, adding to the building snarky nature of how people communicate in the online world. Rising above and being positive shines a light on being a better person, and for me, trying to be a better testimony in serving my God, and ultimately, showing that to others by being kind to them too. I’ve learned that it’s often better to not share my opinion, at least on certain social media platforms, because of the drama it could create.

    I hope I didn’t go all crazy religious on you there. You can always delete the comment if it’s bothersome. I’ve always been impressed with how positive you seem on your site, both in your words and podcasts. I have a lot of respect for your abilities, and you challenge me to be a better writer and more critical (don’t read negative there) thinker when it comes to film.

    I hope your day got better. And I hope you know you’re not alone. I like the call to be more positive. You never know what other people are going through at the time. Cheers!

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