Ryan McNeil
Told ya I’d keep Volume 9 to a shorter run time!
Oddly enough, I actually didn’t have the foggiest clue what I wanted to discuss this month until I got a comment on the site this week from John LaRue of The Droid You’re Looking For. So first and foremost – thanks a mile John!
This time out, a pair of familiar voices join me – namely Matthew Price who you might remember from IBD vol. 1, and Bob Turnbull who joined me for IBD vol. 2. These two gents were chosen specifically to talk not just as movie lovers, but also as parents…and for my money, they bring the goods as both.
To recap the concept of this offshoot – expect to see these episodes turning up once a month. My intention is for them to be a bit more raw (there are almost no cuts in this conversation), a bit shorter, with no rules, and less of a pecking order on who sits down at the table.
Enjoy!
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Matt Price’s “Is Shane younger? He looks terrible” comment got me laughing. I still have old class photos of me and him in elementary school and…he doesn’t look much different.
Anyways, my parent’s have had little to no influence on the film’s I see (in fact their main influence was buying mostly Disney films on VHS, since they thought they were the only movies worth owning).
My mom is bit more open to watching science fiction and horror films, but my dad absolutely HATES both genres. He’s one of these people that doesn’t not find any entertainment value in those types of movies. Ironically, one his all-time favourite films is Braveheart.
As for me, it took me quite a while to admit that I liked horror films. I was always intrigued by them, but I didn’t really actively start watching and/or buying them until I was in my 20s. That said, when or if I have kids, I will probably do my best to shield them from horror for as long as possible.
Yeah, I developed my “taste” for horror a bit later on too. And even then, it took me awhile to really start digging and explore the foreign and classic sides.
I’m not sure there’s a lot of “shielding” needed, but a lot will depend on their peer groups and how open you are with them. Of course, it’ll depend a whole lot on what kind of kid(s) you get.
It’s still strange for me, because my desire to track down stright-up horror didn’t kick in until my 20’s, and in many ways is still an evolution of taste.
So I guess you guys (Matt and Bob) aren’t going to be on board with the fifteen-year syllabus I’m planning for my kid’s cinematic education. 😉 Just kidding. Sort of.
Horror movies are kind of an interesting beast for me – like Ryan, I didn’t grow up with them, and I largely avoided them until the last couple of years. I wouldn’t say even now I love horror in general unequivocally (I’m certainly not as adventurous as someone like Bob), but the sort of horror films I love, I really do love and eagerly seek out. I always thought I avoided them because I didn’t like to be scared, but the funny thing is that now that I’ve started watching all those movies I’ve found they mostly don’t scare me – when I recently watched the slasher series kickoffs (Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street), I had to approach them mostly as comedies to like them at all, because they weren’t scary.
I still largely prefer atmospheric dramas or thrillers with horror elements to full-on horror, and I find they tend to stick with me a lot longer, too.
Are you kidding? I’m betting your 15 year itinerary is gonna rock. The key is being able to adjust as your child starts trying to take the wheel. My guy was initially open to classic movies and I was thrilled when he really dug the Errol Flynn Robin Hood. But he’s tailed off since then and certainly currently prefers to watch colour films in English. However, I keep nudging him over and have squeezed in the odd Buster Keaton and a high energy foreign film (I brought him to the Korean “The Thieves” at TIFF and it was a perfect example). Though I never had a n issue with foreign films, it took me awhile to fully appreciate the older B&W films. But when I did…B-)
Yeah, I think the thing I’m struggling with the most is wanting him/her to be able to appreciate and enjoy both older and newer films. Most kids understandably gravitate toward newer stuff, especially as they get older and are more influenced by their peers. I was the opposite, since my parents managed to instill a love of the classics in me but didn’t watch much else, and I spent a long while disdaining anything newer than about 1970, and I was an elitist little brat where movies were concerned. I don’t want either of those extremes for my kids, but I’m not sure how to balance it yet. We’ll see. 🙂 I guess what I’d most like to instill is that I don’t really care what he/she ends up liking best (horror, comedy, foreign films, whatever), as long as he/she is open and willing to accept that most everything has value, whether it’s his/her particular cup of tea or not.
(Side note: I really can’t wait to find out the baby’s gender in a couple of weeks – this he/she business is getting tiring.)
I was late to the party where the classics were concerned, and didn’t really start digging into them until I was around 19…which is sort of interesting because a lot of my musical tastes leaned towards older material as I was a teenager. I guess one’s musical preferences and movie preferences don’t really overlap.
I think the trick will be to try and compliment what they’re already into, and ‘baby-step’ them (pardon the pun) into the classics/b&w/foreign material.
Ha… thanks big time for this. I got a kick out of it. Re: nature vs. nurture pertaining to my nephew, he’s adopted, although they adopted him very young (14 months).
I think you guys are really onto something re: detachment. I think detaching yourself from horror is a pretty big key to enjoyment. I also think there’s a lot to be said about understanding fear to tame it. My friend and I were talking about this the other day, where there has to be a point where it turns in your head- that you realize “This guy is trying to scare me and it’s not real. It’s an attempt to terrify me but it doesn’t have to.”
Regarding making mistakes, I tried Mad Monster Party (Rankin Bass, 1960s, made for kids) and we got 5 minutes in before he was literally hiding behind the couch. I definitely went out of my way to explain to him that it was funny, that the skeletons and vampires were doing “silly” things… and it helped. It got him 5 minutes, and I don’t think he would’ve gone that far otherwise. He has a toy Scooby and I asked him if he ever watches it. “Scooby Doo is too scary for me”, he said. Then we had a discussion about why Scooby has a speech impediment (his question, not mine).
We probably sounded like we were coming down a lot more on Nature’s side than Nuture. I’ve always felt there’s a strong mix of the two, though you really do have to work with what you’ve got. As B.F. Skinner (see Matt, I can name-check classic psychologists too…B-) ) showed you can certainly create learned behaviours through reinforcement and other means, so I do agree that there is some worth to understanding fear…
From what you’ve said John, it sounds like you’re doing pretty damn fine as an uncle…B-) You’re open to discussing things, gently nudging him forward and you aren’t forcing it. Your nephew may never be a horror fan, but at least he’ll know who to talk to if he’s curious…
Hey Ryan, do I have to do all your work for you? B-)
Pfft…some of us have jobs Bob!
But thanks John, I’m really thankful for the comment that sparked this whole discussion, and that you’re taking an active interest in broadening your nephew’s palette. I think what would interest me most is the discussions about what scares him and why. I mean he’s five, right, so the “It’s only a movie” line is going to be met with some scepticism. Guess you’ll have to take things 5 minutes at a time.
…damn, now he has me wondering why Scooby has a speech impediment…
This was a great discussion because it really got me thinking about my own experiences. Being raised by just my mom, we didn’t watch horror at our house. The most horrific she usually gets is psychological thrillers, but I *know* she watched horror films when she was younger because she’s talked about ones that scared her.
I, however, loved watching horror films at the neighbors’ house because their mom let them watch anything. My mom didn’t care that I watched these things, but she wasn’t going to be the one renting Nightmare on Elm Street and Child’s Play for me. And later, my high school boyfriend had me watching all kinds of crazy horror, and that’s where a lot of my classic horror (pre-80s) education started.
But at some point, my interest shifted. I almost never watch horror anymore, unless I know it won’t bother me. I get truly freaked out by some supernatural things (ghosts, possessions, zombies), but psycho killer films are fine. So it’s almost like I’ve turned into my mom, who use to watch horror films, then only watched things that weren’t going to keep her up at night. I don’t know if having children is where this shift happened, or if it’s something we just lost interest in over time because we thought we’d seen it all, but I find the connection intriguing.
As for what I will or won’t let Mia (and eventually Zoe) watch, I can’t say. Like it was stated on the show, it depends on the kid. Besides, Brad’s the big horror lover in the house, so I may leave that side of film education to him.
The one detail of this discussion that I regret is that I didn’t get a mom in on my discussion. For all I know the points would have been exactly the same as what Bob and Matthew brought up (most likely actually), but I still would have liked to have heard a mom’s opinion.
Pity you don’t live closer!