Ryan McNeilI’m beginning to believe that there is something worse than a bad movie, for both the film makers and the audience. I think that worse than making a bad movie, is making one that is just plain forgettable.
There have been some pretty bad flops made in the history of Hollywood – PLAN 9, WATERWORLD, SHOWGIRLS – but at least people remember them. You can be flipping channels late at night, see a scene of Will Smith in a cowboy hat and say “Oh…WILD WILD WEST” is on. But what does it say for a movie to hit screens, leave someone like me saying “Yeah, that was pretty good”, but then leave me with nothing that sticks in my movie geek brain?
So while it may seem a bit of an odd choice for a top five, allow me a moment to confess the movies that left me feeling nothing as the years have passed. I paid full admission…I sat through ’em all…but for me they left no impression.
#5. TROY (2004)… This one was actually on TV the other night, and my fiancee said to me “I don’t remember a frame of this movie”. It suddenly occurred to me, I didn’t remember much more than her. The CG shot of the 1000 ships, the CG shot of the Trojan Horse entering the city gates – and that was all. For a movie that was immensely expensive to make, featured an all star cast, and seemed poised to follow in the GLADIATOR footsteps, it doesn’t say much that it has fallen from my movie-obsessed memory in a mere four years.
#4. THE FOUR FEATHERS (2002)… I remember seeing the trailer for this, the trailer that ends with the battalion in a square formation getting swarmed by enemy forces from all sides. At the time, I thought “Cool!”. Now, I think…”Shit, what else happened in that movie?”. It starred a freshly minted batch of young stars: Kate Hudson, Wes Bently, Heath Ledger, all hoping to follow-up their breakthrough roles. Sadly, the movie left me, and many others with nothing. Hudson and Ledger went back to the drawing board; Bentley’s career never recovered. And Dumas deserved far better.
#3. THE MISSING (2002)… How un-memorable was Opie’s Oscar follow-up? I’d forgotten Val Kilmer was even in it until I looked up its iMDB page for this list. ‘Nuff said.
#2. U-571 (2000)… The turn of the new millennium was an amazingly weak year at the movies, perhaps then it’s fitting that my top two choices were released a mere month and a half apart. This DAS BOOT wannabe wasn’t bad but for all the whispering tension McConaughey, Paxton and Keitel serve up, but at the same time, they didn’t give us any memorable ka-boom!s to go along with them.
#1. DINOSAUR (2000)… I remember the computer animation in this Disney offering being eye-popping. The graphics were on a par with just about every frame Pixar and Dreamworks had done. But as of now, I’d be truly hard pressed to tell you the plot, any voices that were cast, or detail any single scene. What does that say? I know it seems that I’m just a gigantic Forgetful Jones, but maybe it says that despite all its visual lustre, this Mouse-House offering didn’t have anything more than graphics to offer audiences for their $10. They never made any more like this, so clearly something was afoot. That said – maybe I should go out and rent it and remind myself of anything good I might be forgetting.
Troy was so forgettable that it wasn’t until your post that I realised I had watched it.
I would add to this list ‘The Forgotten’ – ironic?
The story of how a….no…no, it’s gone again. See what I mean.
I remember a lot more of Troy (though I’ve seen it a few times), but it’s a great choice for this list because of how high its profile was prior to its release. I think the most memorable thing is the kickass fight between Pitt and Bana. It’s got some pretty sweet action scenes, but it is pretty give or take.
The Forgotten just plain sucked, if you ask me. I don’t think I’ve forgotten anything about it – I think I’ve blocked it from my mind on purpose.
I’ve never seen 1-4 on your list, so I’m going to take that as meaning I have good taste, of course. Though wasn’t U-571 supposed to be pretty good?
See Fletch, that’s the thing…I pulled most of these titles out of notebooks I used to keep about the movies I’d seen.
(Yes, I’m *that* much of a movie geek).
In each case, I had noted that I liked the movie. And even today, if someone asked me what I thought of ’em I’d say “not bad!”.
But in each case, for whatever reason I’ve grown to find them amazingly forgettable. Odd, in that I bypassed a lot of movies I really didn’t like…but somehow find morememorable.
I don’t have much of an issue with most of the titles on your list except for “Four Feathers”. The reason it’s probably forgotten is because it hasn’t been seen. The real question should be can a film be forgotten if no one saw it to remember it in the first place?
🙂
Heh…well Marina, I think you’ve strayed over into “If a Paris Hilton movie plays to an empty theatre, does it still suck?”
For me though, I found it odd that while I had obviously clear memories of so many good movies, I likewise had vividly clear memories of horrible movies too.
It struck me as odd that these big budget, reasonably well-made films had left such little impression on me just a few years later.
And believe it or not, I saw FOUR FEATHERS!…Even wasted a film fest ticket on it!!
Great list! I’ve seen all but dinosaurs and totally agree. I feel asleep during U-571 but I think that had more to do with going to the pub pre-film as opposed to post 🙂
Awesome post. Of these I’ve only seen Troy and U-571, and I agree with them both. Troy has been on TV a lot lately, but otherwise it may have slipped away forever in my mind. And The Missing photo reminded me of Cold Mountain, which I never really think about.
There are even movies this year (like The Bank Job) that I’d already forgotten about, even if they weren’t bad.
Funny you should mention The Bank Job, Daniel. I said the same thing immediately after seeing it. Wasn’t good, wasn’t bad, and I knew I’d totally forget it within weeks. I said the same thing after seeing The Matador as well, though I think that one’s a bit more memorable than The Bank Job, for the awesome use of color if nothing else.
Great call on The Missing. Truly, I often forget that I saw that film.
It feels equally out of place and out of time… which wouldn’t be a big deal if it were actually any good (or even decent).
5. The Fighting Temptations
4. Garfield
3. Just Like Heaven
2. Prime
1. Ultraviolet
Fletch, that one scene where the lady from Heart and Souls gets sucked into the air…I bought The Forgotten for $1.00 just for that shot.
Hatter, when I watched Dinosaur (in theaters, yeah…I know…) all the kids in the theatre were crying, too scary I guess.
I enjoyed U-571 which is surprising because that’s not usually the type of movie I enjoy.
Scott
he-shot-cyrus.blogspot.com
Troy will forever be etched in my mind for that part towards the end when Achilles stands outside the gate screaming for Hector. It went on for what seemed like an hour and my friend and I couldn’t stop laughing. For about a year after we saw it, every time she would come over she’d buzz to be let in and then scream Hector into the intercom.
That’s a hilarious story, Norma.
That part did always seem a bit long in the tooth for me, too, but I never got to share in the amusement that much…though one time, I did watch Legends of the Fall with some friends where we were laughing/mocking it the entire time. Not that that’s all that crazy, but your story just reminded me of it.
I actually liked the Missing. The violence really stuck with me. But U-571, I think that’s the perfect description for that movie: pretty good, but what the hell was it about again? I have no idea…
-Whitney
dearjesus.wordpress.com