Freeze Frame: THE GRADUATE

When do we actually start learning? How long until the lessons actually start to sink in and we can make good, informed decisions. Maybe I’m ill-suited to ask this question as a person who would go back and change his post-secondary choices if he could. Or maybe it’s a silly question, with education holding precious little sway over common sense.

I ask it though, because this week’s image reminds me how much Ben Braddock really had left to learn.

In THE GRADUATE, Dustin Hoffman plays Ben as a recent grad feeling completely aimless now that his studies are over. He doesn’t know what to do next, where to go next, or who to ask for advice. The advice he does get doesn’t seem to help him much either (“Plastics.”). However, there is one wildly inappropriate light on his horizon; one person who seems to help him do some maturing and boost his confidence.

One would think that Braddock’s affair with Mrs. Robinson would teach him a few things. Perhaps he’d figure out how to act mature, or how to treat a woman now that he’s sleeping with one regularly. After all relationships – whether they be committed and loving, or purely physical and fleeting – change people. They teach us about respecting other people and ourselves, no matter whether they are good relationships or bad. But Braddock hasn’t learned a damned thing from his trysts with Mrs. Robinson, because the moment he needs to spend time with another woman, he humiliates and hurts her.

Admittedly, he’s handcuffed by the fact that his date is the daughter of the woman he’s sleeping with, but there had to be a better way.

Unfortunately, not for Ben. Rather than just take Elaine somewhere casual and make the best of a night with a friend, he feels the need to undeniably turn her off…and the best way he can think to do that is to embarrass her by taking her to a burlesque and sitting the two of them right down front. He’s selfishly determined to keep getting what he wants, and if that means making Elaine dislike him, so be it.

But then this moment arrives…the moment where he can see the effect his actions and decisions have on the people around him. In this moment, he finally looks at Elaine fully and can see that she’s quietly crying. In this moment, finally, we things start to click in Ben’s head.

It shouldn’t have to come to this. While it’s true that the good thing about making mistakes is that it gives us a chance to learn from them, the flag that is ultimately waved in front of our face shouldn’t be stained with tears.

Maybe that’s the thing about life lessons: Maybe we have to learn them the hard way. That’s not to suggest that we all have to sleep with married people so as to know not to disrespect their children, just that we get more by screwing up than we do by getting things right. When we first meet Ben, he’s done everything right, and yet he seems aimless. He never stopped for a moment and thought about what all of his successes had taught him. However, in this moment of miscalculation with Elaine, he wises up quickly, and tries to right the ship after they leave the club.

At that point, his life lessons are still just beginning since he’s set himself up for a whole new set of problems…but at least something is starting to sink in. The moment Elaine begins to cry, Ben stops drifting.

One would hope there’d be an easier way, but at least the boy is learning.

 

Here’s three more from THE GRADUATE for the road…

 

This series of posts is inspired by the “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” series at The Film Experience. Do check out all of the awesome entires in their series so far