Come Out and Play

Posted on Author Ryan McNeil

So last Friday, author J.K. Rowling outed one of her Harry Potter characters. In case you didn’t hear about it, turns out Dumbledore is gay. Rowling said she was reluctant to draw attention to his sexual preference for fear of how readers might react. When I read this news, I started feeling like she should have revealed this fact in the course of the stories…speaking for myself, it wouldn’t have changed my opinion of the character one bit. That said, I’m certain she isn’t alone. In literature, as in the movies, there are all sorts of characters that are just waiting to embrace their true selves. So in honour of Professor Dumbledore – and not to judge, or mock – but only to enlighten and entertain…

Top Five Closeted Movie Characters

#5. Tony Manero in SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER (1977)… He has an awful lot of pent-up aggression, and he sure does love to dance. If that’s not enough for you, take a look at how his story continues in STAYING ALIVE. I dare you, find me one straight guy who could make that white suit work for them.

#4. Willy Wonka in WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (1971)… Do I really have to write anything underneath a photo like that? Didn’t think so – on to number three.


#3. The Tin Man in THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939)… Funny thing, I’d seen this movie so many times I could probably recite every word, but it wasn’t until seeing it on a big screen for the first time two summers back that I noticed a few things. Like how how much of The Tin Man’s costume is actually just a silver coloured sweatsuit under all that metal…and how gay the whole character is. Listen to him singing “If I Only Had a Heart” and try to tell me otherwise.


#2. C-3PO in THE STAR WARS SERIES (1977-2005)… I don’t think droids have an actual sexual preference, but if they did, I’m pretty sure C-3PO would be marching in the annual Droid Day Parade.

#1. The Hobbits in THE LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY (2001-2003)…The following is a direct quote from The Village Voice’s review of RETURN OF THE KING: “…Celtic airs, longing looks, Shire celebrations, and expeditions into a New Age sea of light that make up the lugubrious closer. The Ring trilogy may be fiercely chaste, but its hobbituary denouement is gayer than anything in Angels in America…”.

Did I forget one? Leave a comment and tell me your choices for characters in the closet. Likewise, feel free to leave suggestions for next week’s top five

2 Replies to “Come Out and Play”

  2. And the words of the poet are written on the subway wall:

    Randal Graves: “And what’s with that gay f***ing look, I thought Sam was going to saunter over Frodo and suck his f***ing c**k. Now that would have been an Academy Award worthy ending.”

    Hobbit Lover: “Hey faggot, Sam and Frodo aren’t gay! They’re hobbits!”

    Randal Graves: “And then after the Frodo and Sam s***fest, just before the credits roll, Sam straight up f***ing bricks in Frodo’s mouth.”

    And consider this your reminder to get a new copy of Tombstone. Just for a laugh, get a copy of Wyatt Earp too. It’s amazing what can happen to a film when it’s crushed under the weight of the stars ego.

    Go Sox!!

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