A Moment Like This

Posted on Author Ryan McNeil
Tonight I watched MR. MEGORIUM’S WONDER EMPORIUM. The movie is sweet, and probably something younger kids would like, but it felt like it missed a rung or two on the Wonka-ladder it was trying to climb. However, as disappointed as I was with it, I must appreciate it for one very sweet and memorable scene between Jason Bateman and Zach Mills.
The scene was so good, that it was almost enough to make me forgive the rest of the cinematic sloppiness. And it got me to thinking…that it wasn’t the first time such a moment had occurred. So in light of that, my friends I give you…
Hatter’s Top Five Great Scenes in Bad Movies

#5. “Steppin’ To the Bad Side” DREAMGIRLS, 2003… From the moment the movie ended I made no bones about the fact that i thought it was a good story drawn out too long and turned into a bad movie, and the fact that it had an expressionless Barbie doll in a starring roll didn’t help. However, while it fell short of what I look for in a modern musical movie, there is a moment where things go right. It’s the well shot, well choreographed, well cut, and well scored sequence that plays out Taylor’s underhanded rise to the top. It’s soulful, well-rhythm’d, and slick…something the rest of the movie lacks.
#4. “The Death of Amilyn” BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, 1992… Not so much a bad movie as a truly horrendous and filthy waste of time (which my fourteen year-old self naively paid $8.50 to experience!). That Joss Whedon was able to turn this nine-oh-two-one-mess into a great TV series is an amazing accomplishment within itself, but I digress. If you must watch this film, and let me be clear, I don’t suggest it unless you’re getting paid to do so, there is one redeeming factor. It isn’t the work of Kristy Swanson, last seen breaking up marriages on Skating With the Stars. It isn’t the work of Donald Sutherland, who’s spacious house I’m guessing was paid for by this truly embarrassing role. It isn’t the work of Hillary Swank…yes, that’s right…two time Academy Award Winner Hillary Swank. It’s the deliciously overacted and hammishly drawn out death sequence of the lieutenant vampire, Amilyn. Played with gusto by Pee-Wee himself, the always good for at least three laughs Paul Reubens.

#3. “Ferrari/Hummer Car Chase” THE ROCK, 1996… Back before the time of Caribbean pirates and crime scene investigations, producer Jerry Bruckheimer was known for making “How badly can we blow this up” action movies. In the summer of ’96 (isn’t that a song?), Bruckheimer’s America was in peril again, this time at the hands of a mercenary threatening San Francisco with bio-nuclear weapons. Our hopes were entrusted to the thick and thicker duo of Sean Connery and Nic Cage. But before they can become the best crime-fighting duo since Turner & Hooch, they engage in a chase scene with Connery’s Humvee and Cage’s Ferrari running riot through the hilly streets of San Francisco. It’s not the greatest car chase ever (BULLIT), nor the most original (THE FRENCH CONNECTION), but it is a lot of fun and good for a few laughs…before cage & Connery start talking again and put a fast end to all of that.
#2. “The Burly Brawl” THE MATRIX RELOADED, 2003… What went wrong here? It was a highly anticipated sequel, and one that tried desperately to raise the bar of the ground-breaking effects of it’s original. When seen on its own, the fight between Neo and a few dozen Smiths is indeed spoon-bendingly trippy. The moves are impossibly fast, the stop-action effects raising the bets the first movie placed, and Neo busting free of the dog-pile of Smiths is indeed a “Hell Yeah!” moment. Unfortunately, the rest of the movie fails to capitalize, fails to build on the original, and fails to raise the bar. Worse yet, most of the best bits of this scrap were spoiled in a far-too-revealing trailer.
#1. “Just when I thought I was out…”, THE GODFATHER III, 1990… Maybe not even the whole scene, more like the handful of lines Pacino has, and their context. Here is a man, a character that was cold and calculating as he had many men killed over the first two parts of the trilogy. Here we have him, older…frailer…in an over sized cardigan, looking like the guy playing dominoes in a Gelato shop. He has just come *this* close to getting his family out of the violent empire that has brought them such prosperity. Now, frustrated and losing control, he admits at a humble kitchen table that true danger is in store. The film is an overlong and unnecessary mess, with bad writing and even worse casting, but this moment still managed to enter the pop culture hall of fame…a sign of their resonance, and ability to rise above the mess that is the Corleone swan song.

Did I forget one? Leave a comment and tell me your choices for good scenes in bad movies. Likewise, feel free to leave suggestions for next week’s top five

2 Replies to “A Moment Like This”

  1. I just have to mention, to Joss’ credit, the STUDIO dickered with the Buffy movie, and made it into the piece of crap it is today. His vision for it was finally realized when he got to do the series…the series was what the movie was supposed to be all along. 😉

    -Sue The Sick One

  2. Hmmmm, #2 the Wachowski brothers jerk off with their laptops?

    Mmmmm, no.

    The DREAMGIRLS scene was, aptly, to a song called ‘FAKE YOUR WAY TO THE TOP’.

    My money’d be on the ‘do it’ sequence or Snoop Dogg’s Luxembourg speech in STARSKY AND HUTCH.

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