Have you ever noticed how easy it is for a problem to gain the “it’s a long story” disclaimer? Perhaps that’s because it almost always is. As cut-and-dry as we see our own troubles, the truth is that a lot of things had to happen to force the trouble. Much like that stitch that wasn’t made in time, things seem to get exponentially worse. This happens time and again to all sorts of people all the world over.

A SEPARATION opens with a divorce proceeding before a justice. Simin (Leila Hatami) wants to leave Iran, believing that a better future for her family exists outside of its borders. Her husband Nader (Peyman Moaadi) will not leave his Alzheimer’s afflicted father, and thus cannot leave Iran. He also does not want to be separated from their daughter Termeh (Sarina Farhadi), whom Simin would be taking with her. Hence the request for divorce – a request which is turned down due to lack of grounds. Simin still separates from Nader, leaving him to seek outside help in caring for his father.

Simin suggests he hire an acquaintance named Razeih – a woman who is basically a friend of a friend. Razeih takes the job without telling her husband Houjat that she is doing so. That’s just the start of her difficulties as she also faces a long commute, questions of religious implications, and the fact that she is trying to do it all five months pregnant. As if all of that isn’t hard enough, she has no experience caring for someone with Alzheimer’s.

Eventually a situation arises that Razeih cannot handle. Making matters worse, Nader overreacts and puts himself in position to be blamed for something truly bad. As everyone involved argues the situation before a court, one thing becomes clear: Nobody is coming away from this clean.

What was most unexpected about A SEPARATION, was the universal nature of the story. The wonderful thing about a lot of foreign cinema is the way is transcends cultures, languages, and borders. It’s a way to shine a light on our commonality as humans, and remind each other that while we might speak in different tongues, or worship different gods, there are many moments in life where we act the same way, and make the same choices. Obviously, there are many foreign films that celebrate the countries they are from and act like a totem for the culture of said country, but even within those are traces of what makes us all so similar.

The sum total of A SEPARATION is justice and blame. For centuries, mankind has quarrelled with itself. When we get into these disputes, more often than not the resolution we seek is not about settling the matter. What we want most is to lay blame, and be in the right. It’s a strange part of our human fabric, and it happens time after time. It’s not about looking at the problem on the whole, how many people have been affected and coming up with a solution that settles the matter. It’s about being able to stand up and say “I am right, and you are wrong”. Worse still is how that isn’t even enough. We want compensation, restitution, a punishment of some sort…as if somehow that will prove our point even further.

Therein lies the crux of A SEPARATION. It’s not bad enough that two families have unwittingly hurt themselves and one another, it’s the way they argue tooth and nail before a court and amongst each other to be proven right. Why? Will that undo the pain that has been caused? Both families are living in stressful times, and being on the winning side of a judgement isn’t going to ease that stress one lick. Heck, both families still have their own internal disagreements to figure out when this dispute is settled. Still, it’s what both sides want more than anything else: To be able to stand up and say “I am right, and you are wrong”.

What if, instead, everyone put up their hands and walked away? What if they – and the rest of us in our own lives – saw conflict as something that is beneficial to no one, and did our best to avoid fanning the flames. Even if we did need to sit down to solve our disputes, at least that would help us end a dispute, and not continue to yell our way into being declared “right”.

We can see the threads start to pull in A SEPARATION, and we have to ask ourselves “what if?”. What if Simin didn’t want to leave Iran? What if Simin didn’t believe that the only way she could leave Iran was to separate from Nader? What if Razieh was honest with Houjat about taking the job? What if Nader could have kept his temper in check? Could any of this mess been avoided? Could it all have been avoided? That’s what we always forget when we find ourselves in these sorts of arguments. There are so many cogs in motion that lead us to any one point. Perhaps it’s better just to say “I am sorry and you are sorry” and move on.

Almost half of A SEPARATION is one long argument, and I’d wager that if you found yourself in a room for a sixty minute argument, you’d likely get up and leave. However, the story and the filmmaking brings with them a sad subtle beauty, that you want to stay with it and keep listening. The characters almost beg us, the audience, to be the judge of the dispute. Sadly, we cannot give them the answers; just like anywhere else in the world, they need to figure them out for themselves.

Matineescore: ★ ★ ★ 1/2 out of ★ ★ ★ ★
What did you think? Please leave comments with your thoughts and reactions on A SEPARATION.

22 Replies to “A SEPARATION”

  1. I liked this film, but mostly for the political aspect. It really gave me an understanding for all the Iranians who have seen no alternative but to flee the country and it’s medieval view on women and lack of justice. People who can sympathize with the maid seem to like the movie a lot more. For me it wasn’t an issue of “both sides are righr”. It was clear that he was the one who had been lyed to and used. I think this made it a little bit less engaging. But most of all my sympathies were wtih the wife who wanted to leave the country. All I can hope is that she managed to bring her daughter with her and give her the chance to a get a life as an equal.

    For further insight to the repression people live under in Iran I recommend you to watch This is Not a Film.

    1. I would say that politics, or really “Iranianness” in general, is barely a factor in this movie, at least compared to so many other Iranian films. Its themes are more universal, of the need to validated and of the way that small lies spiral out of control when one is threatened. The nature of Iranian society plays a role only insofar as it gives slight pushes to the narrative, but the overall film is more divorced from Iranian borders than even the films of Abbas Kiarostami, who is actually somewhat derided in his home country of making films for the West. The mother in this film, Leila Hatami, got her big break in a much more political family drama in LEILA. I’d also recommend the films of Mohsen Makhmalbaf and Jafar Panahi (whose THIS IS NOT A FILM is the culmination of a career of daringly political work). But I would say that A SEPARATION’s key strength is the degree to which it shows Iranian cinema can extend far beyond its rigorously policed borders to speak to basic human drama in ways far more powerful than we can, or at least that’s how it seems these days.

      Furthermore, I would say that Farhadi was not saying “both sides are right” so much as “both sides are wrong.” Both sides lie, and both sides drag others into their lies to defend themselves. It just softens its tone by making clear that we will all go to surprisingly drastic lengths to protect our own way of life, so to judge either party outright would be to miss the point. I actually come down harder on Moaadi for absolutely refusing not to be the victor, even when it could tear apart whatever peace he’s made elsewhere. The ending of the film is not the fated bookend of the start; it’s the result of his most recent, petty action.

      1. Thanks Jake – comments like this make me want to start over and re-write the whole post. All I can do is chime in with a “ditto” on most of your well-articulated thoughts.

    2. I’m afraid that for me there is one side that definitely is more to be blamed and it’s the family of the maid. But we can just agree that we disagree on me.

      What I am afraid of is if the success of this film will be of use to the regime in Iran for propaganda. They can claim that they have a successful film industry, hoping that the world will forget the restrictions and censorship and the fact that they put any film maker who dares to challenge them into prison.

      This is not a film was a way more powerful film for me than A Separation. It was astonishingly good and shows that making great film has very little to do with the budget size.

  2. I really loved this film. For one thing, it was the most flawless film I have seen all year. The other- it made me think a lot. I am an Indian Muslim who has lived for a decade in an Arabic country. I felt as though I have seen such characters in my life, even though personally I am not like them, exactly. It just gave me a sense of such familiarity and unfamiliarity that I could not stop reflecting upon the film. I mean I know many of the themes are universal, but they are still not talked about and it was kind of shocking for some reason.
    It’s just a film in which you end up feeling sorry for everyone. I felt the worst for the two children.

    1. The interesting thing is even as a white westerner, I feel as though I have seen such characters in my life. What’s more, as you mentioned, is when I’ve met and heard about such people, I instantly feel bad for any children involved in such squabbles.

      Here’s hoping someday we can all find a better way.

      Did you write a post about the film? I’d love to read it.

      1. I didn’t 🙁 I started on a post but then I thought I wouldn’t do it justice and gave up. Maybe I will try again.

        Another thing about this film was that I really wanted to discuss it with people who are from a different culture than me. I don’t think that has ever really happened to me except maybe a bit in Slumdog Millionaire.

  4. Great review. Agree with many points you made here. I was thinking “would I have done the same thing” in every scene, the theme is so universal. I have situations where an incident starts out small and then it goes out of control because of my ego or pride. I think everyone can relate to that.

    I have seen this movie three times now, and I think it’s one of the best constructed story I have seen in the last 5 years. It starts out as a simple separation/divorce hearing and Farhadi’s script adds little details to every scene, and the stake gets higher and higher. The movie doesn’t try to judge or blame anyone, it just shows the consequence of their action. The ending is just perfect, don’t think you can end it any other way. I don’t call a lot of movies masterpiece, I think this is the rare one.

    1. It’s odd, part of what I liked about it was how little I knew. I’ve obviously heard it brought up many times as the fall has turned to winter, but somehow I subconsciously always tuned out and thought “I’m going to see that, so I’ll find out about it then”.

      With that cover-my-ears-and-hum mentality, I was caught unawares as I thought the story of the couple’s separation was going to be the engine that drove the story. Turns out, it’s the key that turns the ignition.

      I sincerely hope that more people get to catch up with it and see it several times like you have (how’d you do three already?), and that nothing funky happens and prevents it from winning its deserved Best Foreign Film Oscar.

      1. I have the same reaction you have the first time I watched it. I didn’t quite know what’s going on but I was engaged throughout. It was on a re-watch that I started to see the intricate details and the emotional truth of the film. It’s then I realized how powerful and universal this is. I am not sure there is a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Is Semin wrong to leave the country with her daughter? Is Nader wrong to stay because of his father? How do you choose? Is there a perfect answer? We make choices like this every day, we all have our reasons. The maid is 5 months pregnant, certainly not fit to take care of an old man with Alzheimer, but she has to do it because they are in debt, and her husband is in trouble. Throughout the film, we see these characters make choices, and all of them have their own reasoning, but they also carries consequences. There are a couple of shots near the end where we saw the reaction of the kids is truly heartbreaking.

        This is a movie that could use a spoiler discussion and the more I think about it, the more I get out of it. Yes I did see it three times, once at TIFF, once thru my friend who has a DVD copy from Britain, and once in theater recently. I can certainly watch it the fourth time and probably find more things. It’s that good.

        1. It’s interesting that you mention the spoiler-ish discussion, since I seem to remember a few of those happening around local circles (both in person and via Twitter). The consequences that you mention re key, and what I think the film wants us to think about the most as so many of our day-to-day decisions carry unforeseen ripple effects.

  6. Thought-provoking review, Ryan. I’ve heard so many good things about this film, but it’s nice to REALLY read about it now. I look forward to seeing this soon.

    And also – I enjoyed the thought about finding traces of similarity in other people, regardless of culture or religion. Very true.

    1. Reading about the film before you see it!? Daring. I’m pretty sure it’s still playing/gotten a new run down in your neck of the woods, you should track it down to “see what all the fuss is about”.

      Those similarities are all around dude. I think the world might be a better place if we all looked for those similarities in each other more often.

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